My blog over the last 3-4 months is full of posts that tell of brokenness, confusion, and fatigue. But also of faith, trust, and hope. I've experienced quite the rollercoaster of emotions this summer. The ride isn't over, but I do feel that trust in God (and my yoga practice...smile) is helping me to level out a bit.

I've been taking my time in reading Ann Voskamp's book, 1,000 Gifts. I started it last Spring, and I'm still not finished with it. But I truly think about it's message every day. It's almost as if I have to read it in doses to truly digest what is being said. She talks about finding gifts/blessings from God in the beautiful, the mundane, and even in the ugly.

I've experienced a lot of ugly in my life. And this book is helping me to look at my ugly in a different way. For a while this summer, I lost sight of acknowledging my gifts in this particular life rollercoaster I'm on. But every once in a while, I would pull out my inspiration journal and jot down a few.

This past weekend, I was looking over old journals and reading what dreams, desires, hopes, expectations that I used to have. It's nice to see the ones that have come to pass. But it's hard to read the ones that are still in progress, desires that have not yet been achieved. Desires that I still have and still pray for.

So today, I pulled out my inspiration journal to look back over 2011 and only read positive things. Quotes, thoughts, scriptures, gifts that bring encouragement and hope. I realized that I haven't been blogging these gifts. Rereading them today has brought a lot of comfort and assurance.

They won't mean the same to you as they mean to me. But I know that reading of another's gifts helps me see some of mine that I might be overlooking.

My list to 1,000 gifts...

June
191. white capped mushrooms growing in the yard
192. catching lightning bugs
193. opening up and putting myself out there
194. women helping women..."you are not alone"
195. Mt 5:3-10...The Blessing
196. planting seeds
197. hands smelling like dirt
198. little hands holding worms
199. handmade gifts
200. birthdays so close together
201. Peter Pan hat on a little head
202. wooden dagger in a little hand
203. wide eyes over a gnome doll
204. birthday crowns and banners
205. Oreo cupcakes
206. fresh strawberry cupcakes
207. a husband who bakes
208. birthday card and gifts from miles away
209. reminders to pay attention to God's gifts
210. "I pay tribute to God by paying attention."

July
211. jar full of lightning bugs
212. a sensitive girl crying over a smashed bug
213. making the right decisions even though they're hard
214. a quiet house
215. checking in
216. knowing that "there is nothing new under the sun." we aren't alone in our struggles and lives
217. smell of fresh produce
218. packed refrigerators
219. spontaneity
220. ice cream mustaches
221. sensitivity
222. new friends
223. rain on a tin roof
224. glass walls
225. cool mornings
226. quiet
227. nature hikes
228. wild flower bouquets
229. espresso
230. perfectly roasted marshmallows
231. lighter fluid
232. Nana/kid time
233. Nana detox - it's hard, but it means that she was here to keep the kids so I could get away

August
234. hands smelling of basil
235. salad from the garden
236. showers from the hose
237. humming while exhaling...thank you yoga!
238. hula hooping with my girl
239. successful potty training :)
240. faithful friends
241. clouds scattered across the sky
242. wildflowers beside the highway
243. kids believing that toys can become real
244. songs leading me in worship
245. butterflies drinking nectar

September
246. "Mommy, you're pwetty"
247. "I wuv you, Mommy"
248. "Mommy, you smell yummy"
249. separation
250. the 90 days
251. giddy feelings when his hand touches mine
252. butterflies in my stomach
253. brutal honesty
254. uninhibited communication
255. positive change