My mom was in town this past weekend, and I was reminded once again of the amazing job she did in raising me. Although my childhood was highly dysfunctional, my parents did one thing that was very right. They were open with me.
Both my mom and my dad were not afraid to have a hard conversation with me even if it required them to speak of things that they were ashamed of. They were very open with certain mistakes they made in their lives. I know they didn’t tell me all the gory details, but they didn’t try to hide anything. And because of how open they were with me, I wanted to be just as open with them.
I lied to my mom only once. She called me on it, and at that point, I knew I would never lie to her or my dad again. I never have had a reason to. Both my mom and my dad were always available for me. I always knew that I could speak the truth to them about situations in my life and even about situations in their lives. No conversation was off limits, too hard or too embarrassing.
I can remember sharing intimate details about a bad relationship I had in college. My parents cried with me about it and told me that it was a bad choice on my part, but they still loved me and accepted me through the whole thing.
I remember times that I completely disagreed with certain choices my parents made. I would tell them exactly what I thought about the situation. They always listened and acknowledged my concern. But even if they continued on with their choice, I still loved them and stood by them as much as I could.
I learned how to disagree with people but to still love them from my parents. I think my dad had it right when he used to say, “I’ll run through a wall with you, but I’ll still be holding onto you on the other side.” That’s how my mom and dad have always been…open and real with me even if we disagree.
This weekend was another example of how great my mom is. I poured my heart out to her about the situation I am facing right now. She listened and offered advice, but most importantly, she said she supports me and is here for me no matter what. I knew going into this conversation that she was going to disagree with my decision. But I knew that even though we would disagree, she would still find it in her heart to accept my choice and support me however she can.
My desire is to have this same openness with my children. I want Shiloh-Grace and Huck to know that they can come to me with any desire, idea, fear, worry, doubt, or hurt. I want them to know that I love them unconditionally. That no matter what happens to them or what choices they make, I will love them through it all.
I’m so thankful that this type of parenting was modeled for me. It’s one more silver lining that I’m so thankful for.
Still counting my gifts to 1,000 and beyond…
130. excitement over a little sucker
131. late night talks with friends
132. Nana tending to the kids
133. sleeping in
137. kids rolling down hills
138. belief in fairies
139. toads hiding in trees
140. catching tadpoles
141. girls' night
143. using chopsticks correctly
145. listening friends
147. kids saying, "Nana, Nana, Nana" instead of "Momma, Momma, Momma"
148. a supportive, loving, protective and giving Mom
149. mail in rebates
150. glittering pixie dust
151. tooth fairy visits
152. 10¢ garage sale toys
153. smell of rain
154. kids' mealtime prayers
155. bedtime snuggles